Prom

Ready for another embarrassing memory from Jessica's teenage years? Oh, and there WAS a limited time soundtrack to this post, but sorry you missed it.

This story is not really as embarrassing as it is sad and pathetic, but hopefully you'll be able to at least get a chuckle at my expense if you choose to read on.

Recently I went with the 12-year-olds from our church that I teach for an activity. They went to a bridal/ dress shop and tried on prom dresses. They LOVED it, and the other adults were talking about their funny 80s prom dresses and I confessed....

I was never asked to prom.

I know I'm not the only girl that never experienced the amazing, glamourous, romantic dance that was so well portrayed on episodes of Full House I watched as a kid. Or all the great teen movies with a great dance scene. But for some reason, it seems like a major rite of passage I didn't experience. So here is the story.

In our highschool, anyone could attend Prom. You just had to pay the $50+ ticket to get in. So a handful of my friends went as sophomores. But Prom is really about being a Jr. The Junior class officers plan it, the Prom royalty are juniors. Basically, it's the year that counts. And even more pathetic, technically I could have attended all three years of high school, but never went. (Freshmen = Jr. High for us)

Well as it got closer, I was realizing I wouldn't be going. In our seminary class at school, they had a whiteboard designated as "Girls Who Haven't Been Asked to Prom". I think it was supposed to be a positive thing, so boys could see all the girls who wanted to go so they could ask them. So the weeks leading up to the dance, each day the list would get smaller as a girl would confidently walk up and erase her name. Mission accomplished: going to prom! Well I wasn't stupid enough to write my name up there because I knew my name would be there right up to the dance, so at least I avoided the Board of Shame.

Anyway, my best friend was prom royalty, and since we all knew I most likely wouldn't be attending, I asked my Mom if she would make Mysha's dress, which was really fun. She picked everything out and if I remember right she kind of designed what she wanted. My mom always enjoys making a formal gown. So that was fun.

So Saturday night. Prom night. Up to this point I felt like I kept a good perspective on everything. First of all, I wasn't surprised I wasn't going. No boys were interested in me. No one asked me to date any other time, so I realized no one would pop out when prom rolled around. So I realized that the only opportunity to go to prom would be a poor sucker who's mom was forcing him to give me a pity date. I KNEW I didn't want that. Plus, it was really expensive date and I always feel guilty when people spend money on me, especially teenage boys with no job. So I felt I'd accepted the situation and mature about the fact I was content to be at home that night.
I guess I'd better admit at this point, that although I had intellectually explained my lack of prom to be what would be best, I totally day dreamt about it. Kind of lame, but I designed a red dress in my mind--obviously so if they played "Lady In Red" I would take some kid's breath away....But it wouldn't just be any kid. My crush. I imagined he'd also had a crush on me all this time, but was too shy to act on it, but out of no where asked me to the dance. Basically I was too nerdy and we weren't in the same group of friends..Ok basically the plot of Say Anything... without the smut. But definitely with the boombox over head outside my window. On and on, and I can tell you my imaginary prom experience kicked the socks off anything you saw on Full House. It was amazing. I was amazing. My date was amazing.

But back to reality. Saturday afternoon, we're in Mysha's bedroom. I am helping with her hair as she is doing her makeup. I remember she borrowed some Mary Kay cream to powder silver eyeshadow. Gorgeous. Well I can't remember if I was just slow, or her date came early, but I barely finished her hair in time. We shot this quick photo, and I was on my way out of there. I was in her room gathering our "prom prep" gear, when her date came, who was our good buddy.

Her room was right by their living room, where they were all excitedly taking pictures, introducing the other friends in the group, etc. I was trapped! I couldn't get out of her room without passing the prom group just outside her door. It was bad enough to be the girl that no one wanted to take, but to go out and hang out in your grubbies with all your friends wearing their formals was too embarrassing for me to tackle.
I backed up against her closet and sat down, listening to the group, looking down at my shabby skirt and hoodie. And all the sudden I felt so EMBARRASSED, LAME, PATHETIC, UGLY, and the list goes on. My mom had always talked about making our prom dresses, and her staircase in our house that would be perfect to walk down when your date picks you up for prom. "What a loser I am!! All this time my mom wanted to make me a prom dress, and she instead had to make my friend's because I'm so lame!" or "I don't even have a loser party to go to right now because all my friends are at the prom and I'm the only loser!"
So I kind of sat in Mysha's room, half in her closet, having my own "Prom Pity Party", fighting back the tears. The group finished their pictures and left. I looked out the window and saw them get in their cars in a blur of satin and chiffon and drive away. I could finally leave, but I was such an emotional wreck, I didn't want to encounter any chat with her family on my exit, so I peaked out her door until the coast was clear and bolted out of there.

I got in my car and quickly turned the radio off before I turned on the engine. I didn't want to have a love song come on or anything (have you seen the scene in Better Off Dead with the break-up songs...I had). So I drove home, trying to act nonchalant about everything. My mom was in the kitchen and asked how Mysha looked in her dress. "Beautiful."

I went up stairs. The same stairs my mom practically designed for her daughter's prom if they weren't such ugly trolls and could get a date! At that point I hustled to my room and shut the door. I cried. Over something stupid. Prom. Being unappealing to my male peers. Spinster.

Later my mom came up to console the troll, and I can't remember anything my mom said in particular, other than reminding me about how much she hated her Junior Prom when she started her period in a white dress and the whole night was a nightmare expedition trying to get feminine hygiene with zero success. At the end of the night back in 1977 she ran in the house, shut the door behind her, leaned on it, and just yelled: "MOTHER!" The family ran thinking vengeance needed to be taken out on her date, when she just turned around and they saw her blood soaked bum area of the white dress as she started sobbing.

So ya. When she reminded me of her prom, I was glad that night to be watching TV with my little brother Herschel as he ate "Macho Nachos" = half bag of Doritos with 1/2 pound of cheese melted on top, and his shiny, bare, chubby, 11 year old chest where he'd wiped all the grease.

I laugh about it now. Rhett always says: It's too bad you didn't grow up in Delta, because we made sure every junior girl went to that dance. And ours was amazing....Titanic theme: My heart will go on '98. Everyone even got to take home a mug.
Apparently there are bad proms (mom), but there are amazing proms, which must have been Rhett's experience because he was really mad when I had found the cool prom mug and used it so much all the purple lettering is gone, ruining his Prom '98 memorabilia. He said the mug was a big deal because he'd helped plan the dance, but I think he did have a great time too. Because prom can be kind of a big deal I guess.

But now I'm an adult, I look back and think that for me and my personality, the many nights at home when my girl friends were out with boy friends or whatever, really did shape who I am I think. I was kind of a prideful brat in many ways, and those experiences did humble me greatly. I didn't feel any confidence in how I looked, so it really forced me to find my self worth in areas beyond the way I looked or what other people thought about me. So what seemed like a teenage catastrophe, in the end was something that greatly benefited me in discovering who I am. So I'm grateful things turned out for the best, although I still wonder if my "John Cusack" crush was considering asking me afterall. Probably not. I actually don't think he knew my name.

So let's have a little contest since you made it through my pathetic prom story. I want to know

the best high school movie--dance scene of all time.

So leave me a comment with all the ones I've forgotten so I can compile a list, and then we'll vote. If it's a high school movie and has a scene at a school dance, give it to us! So my movie buff friends: Lacey G., Rebecca S. get thinking!

The ones that come to my mind:
Grease

Footloose

Better Off Dead

Carrie

Napoleon Dynamite

She's All That

10 Things I Hate About You

Back To the Future

Clueless

To Sir With Love

Is there a dance scene in Say Anything? or just the senior party?