He Clicked Submit

Remember Rhett didn't know what he was going to be when he grew up?

Well he clicked submit and applied to residency. Family practice, rural emphasis. That decision has been such a killer. For 1 1/2 months he was physically ill with the weight of it all. It's amazing what stress can do to you physiologically. But once he decided Radiology was out that relieved a lot of stress and from my perspective, he coasted gradually into this area where it all feels right. I think he was really trying to love Radiology because I was pretty vocal about how great it would be, plus I love it myself that's why I went into it. I should have known to keep quiet, knowing Rhett would try to do whatever I wanted, even though he might hate it. So I'm glad God is involved in these things to tell Rhett where he should go and to tell me to shut up basically. We were both kind of regretting next putting so much research into Pediatrics. More for Rhett, but I did fill out his spreadsheet ranking 60 different programs. So if anyone has any questions on M.D. Pediatric Residency Programs, Rhett and his spreadsheets would be an excellent source.

It's so interesting the process of making major life changing decisions and seeing where God funnels you to be. We feel good about it. Every area has pros and cons. I think most common opinions about Family Practice focuses on the cons. It's so funny to hear different people's reactions when we tell them Rhett's future course.
My favorite so far: "Don't you realize you're going to be poor your whole life?" I guess we have different definitions of being poor. I would love to be that poor right now.
And news flash: If Rhett chose his career based solely on getting rich, he'd be an idiot because there are much faster, easier, and less demanding routes then medical school if that's your only priority. But to be fair, money is a great temptation, probably one of my top 5 perks for Radiology, but maybe that is why I had the experience to work at Home Depot the first 6 months we lived in Kirksville.

Anyone who knew me during those months knows how much I loathed that job--I was pretty vocal about it. Some days I would just go sit in my car on my lunch break and bawl for a while, dry my eyes and realize how pathetic I was, think of starving kids in Africa, or illegal immigrants begging for jobs, put my mental "big girl panties" on and went back to work, listening to white trash yell at me all day (customer service). But how I hated it. So I had the chance to get a different job in the hospital working worse hours, for less pay, and it was AWESOME! So blah blah blah. It's much more important to have a job you enjoy and have fulfillment in than the money. Everyone knows this, but it's surprising not everyone makes choices based on this. Just thinking of anyone going to work and feeling the same way I felt about Home Depot, I don't think the millions help that much...don't get me wrong. It would definitely help you get through the day. But you could be happier elsewhere, with less. So those that love their job and make all the millions, please become my friend and take me on your yacht when we all grow up...Natalie, Jayne, the rest of you who know who you are, hint hint.
With all of this, I'm not trying to portray as our career decision taking the higher road or anything superior, just our road is good for us so people stop telling us why you think it is bad for you! Maybe I'll just make copies of Rhett's elaborate spreadsheets, have them on hand, and give them a copy with all the stats and end the conversation. Like slapping someone with silence...or a spreadsheet.

I burned my Home Depot apron when I quit. That was really satisfying.

Reviewing this post, I kind of sound whiny and as if I'm dragging my feet behind this decision, or Rhett's decision. If that's what it portrays, I'm not. I'm excited and also feel this is right for our family. As I contemplated deleting everything I wrote, I decide: No one really reads this blog anyway, so I don't care. My mom already knows all this. As one person put it earlier this year: "Do you thrive on not getting any comments?" Was this a tip to blog suicide Jessica? Give the dying dog the bullet? I have considered it. Maybe my next post will evaluate why I blog at all. Hmmm. Maybe I need to create a great giveaway to pull any blog stalkers out of the closet and show themselves. But that may depressing when I whip open my imagined closet to find no one. Maybe I should do a giveaway. Those that do read should have pretty good odds to win. So if you read all this personal crap I've written, comment on what you want me to give away. I could make something, or whatever. Maybe the giveaway should be I have to make you whatever you want when you win. But all this is a totally different matter. I didn't want all that to sound like a blog whine....but I guess...it is?

Someone get me some cheese to help sop up all my whine tonight.