Feeling a Little White Trashish

Rhett and I were at Wal-Mart to pick up one item in electronics. I then thought it would be good to get some root beer for the pizza we were having for dinner. So we wandered over to the food half of the store when Rhett realized he wanted a different item. He headed back to electronics and told me to meet him up front. So I had the 2L root beer, and remembered I hadn't got Rhett his Swedish Fish (his favorite candy and a tradition for his birthday and Christmas). While in the candy aisle, I also grabbed some licorice and Hot Tamales because candy was on sale, and we always have treats to watch Conference. I was heading to the front and noticed people glancing at me, and figured I was imagining it. I got to the frozen food and remembered I needed ice cream and whip cream for Rhett's birthday apple pie. As I shut the glass door, I kind of turned and this man was staring in my direction. When I met his gaze, he quickly looked at the ceiling and swiveled his cart in the opposite direction. His reaction was just like the movies, except he didn't begin whistling...it was obvious he was gaping at something interesting and had been caught. So I turned around and no one was in sight--I was the interesting object of his stare. As my view came back from looking behind me, I caught my reflection in the glass door of the ice cream section.... I saw my huge purple belly protruding out below the halo of junk food I was holding in both arms. I turned to go, and the side view was even worse. As I walked down the aisle I realized why everyone seemed to be looking at me...I'm a physical freak of nature with this baby growing perpendicular to my spine, and apparently I have too few arms to carry all my junk food. I decided at that point to laugh instead of cry. I was busting up laughing as I turned around the corner and met Rhett.
"Look at me. Every one's been staring at me with my ginormous belly and feast of junk." Chuckling, Rhett put his arm around me and said: "Don't worry. You look cute pregnant and everyone understands cravings." This made me laugh more. Two whole arm-fulls of cravings!!!!

Incidentally, when we got to the car, I remembered we had our camera and had Rhett take a picture. We did get one where I anticipated the shot better and was looking at the camera smiling, but I thought this unattractive pose and face matched the story better...also, of course this whole experience happens at Wal-Mart, superstore of high class and elegance.