Missing Frightmares

This is the time of year, Molly and I would always go to Frightmares in Lagoon. We went annually from freshman year until we moved to Missouri last summer. So 3 years in a row may not be the biggest tradition, but it became a part of my fall routine that I loved, and not being able to relish the tradition 2 years in a row is kind of sad.

We have so many funny memories from Lagoon, (the only amusement park in Utah) and Frightmares is a 2 month stint during Sept. & Oct. where the park opens in the evenings and it is decorated for Halloween and they have different haunted house type things throughout the park, in addition to some pretty good live entertainment, employees walking around trying to scare people in crazy costumes, etc.

Here are a few favorite Frightmare memories.

1. Our first year, Molly had a hook up with a friend to get discount tickets--she was a former employee. We tried to rally a group to go with us, but it seemed everyone had last minute conflicting plans so it ended up being Molly, me, and this guy in our ward named Rhett Crapo. Let me preface this story with my first interaction with Rhett:

A few weeks earlier, we went to our singles ward and for Family Home Evening, they had a BBQ and volleyball. Molly and I were both 18 year old freshman, loving life our first few weeks of college. It was one of the first Mondays in Sept of 2003, so 4 years ago. Molly met Rhett as a member of her volleyball team. After volleyball she and he were talking and it came up he was in a band, she was excited and told him she'd love to know about any gigs, so she gave Rhett her number just as I strolled up. She briefly filled me in on the band member status and I blurted out: "Sweet! We'll totally come and be your groupies!" Molly gave me a sideways glance and Rhett finished the conversation and walked off. She turned to me and said "What's with the groupies?" I didn't know what she meant. "You know, we set up the equipment, 'check 1,2,3, check,' pass out towels...you know...groupies." She busted up laughing. "You meant roadies. Groupies are the band sluts. The girls that sleep with the band after the show." I WAS MORTIFIED. My naive rock terminology led me to tell a complete stranger...from church...that I wanted to be his slut. So later that week when he called to inform Molly of an upcoming show, and she ended up inviting him to a dance with us I objected. "Why did you invite that guy? I'll be so embarrassed." In the end it was the beginning of a great friendship and obviously something more....maybe my embarrassing introduction kept him coming back for more. ha ha

So at this point we had hung out with Rhett once, maybe twice. At Lagoon we met another group of kids and it was a fun night. At one point we were waiting for a ride in a line, still getting to know each other and we asked Rhett where he served his mission--Italy. We asked if he'd been back, no but he was planning a trip the following spring, and he would like to take his wife there on the honeymoon. At this idea I objected. "Dude, you should just go somewhere close for your honeymoon and go to Italy later. You don't want to feel like you have to spend your time running around to see the sites. In fact, if we still know each other when you get married my family has a house in St. George you should use. I know when I go on my honeymoon I don't want any obligations outside the bedroom." What the crap was I saying? I was a virginal 18-year-old telling almost a stranger my plan for my future sex life? Also to note: I don't enjoy saying this but at this point in my life I had never even held a boy's hand, so never been kissed or had a boyfriend. Nice. So all my expertise really gave me a valid position to educate everyone on their future honeymoon plans. Molly have me the look and conversation went on, and it wasn't till later that night that she could again tell me she couldn't believe what I had said. I couldn't either. But it I meant it, and he kept hanging out with us. I'll never forget that moment and where each of us was standing. If you're ever at Lagoon, and see me there, I could recreate the embarrassing tale and show you exactly where it occurred. And the funny thing is we did end up going to the St. George house for our honeymoon and to Italy 2 years later, so basically I did have a great plan.

2. That same momentous first Frightmare experience, we went in a haunted house called "Labyrinth". Molly is frightened easily, not really frightened, but she has amazing reflexes and jumps and screams when slightly startled. So we start going through these narrow alleyways, and the kids would jump out or scream, or grab your arm. She was screaming and jumping all over the place, so I was behind her, actually with her in a headlock guiding her along, so she wouldn't fall down, also, I would turn as a body shield if one of the employees would reach out at her. It was hilarious. At one point I said "Molly, it's OK." The kid caught on and started creeping: "Moollly. Come here Molly." and the next kid would catch on so we went through with the ghouls chanting her name and she was terrified. Rhett was right behind us and it eventually opened up into a room with white strips of fabric hanging from the ceiling everywhere. You had to swim through them and there were kids dressed all in white so all the sudden a hand would reach out from nowhere, etc. I had lost grip of Molly and someone scared her and she started spinning to see where they were, winding her head up in the fabric strips. I ran over to her, stopped her and pulled open the head cocoon of fabric so she could breathe and helped her get untangled. At this point she wasn't having fun and wanted to get the heck out of there. Just as we were leaving this mummy room, an unwise kid said boo or something and she reflexed a punch right in his clavicle. He was shocked: "Hey. You totally punched my collar bone!" he whimpered rubbing his shoulder. Molly will have to fill in her reply but we kept going and somehow Rhett got in front of us, so she was gripping him for dear life and I got in the headlock position behind. At one point someone jumped out from the side and Molly jumped away, taking the train with her, and all three of us almost crumpled to the ground. It was hilarious. We finally got out and she was a little shook up, but we all busted up laughing, and decided the haunted houses with 4 spiders next to them on the description were too intense for us.

3. The last year I was able to go was 2005. Rhett had to work, so Molly and I went early in the afternoon and the rest of the group was going to show up in the evening. Whenever I would go anywhere in high school, and college, I would have "the tote". It was a canvas tote bag I got from a ballet festival and I would stock it with treats for the event. In high school the group of guys from my neighborhood would tease me by calling me "Mother Kelly" because we would have the tote at all the $1 movies, sports events, etc. and I would pass out fruit snacks, candy, etc. to everyone. So for this frightmares I packed in the tote a little something special--a roll of cookie dough. Two years earlier before I got married and Molly and I were roommates she was obligated to go to a play on campus for a class, and was given two tickets...I was her date. We went to Smiths before hand to select the filling for the tote. She wanted to buy a roll of cookie dough. We discussed it, and I finally shot the idea down thinking it wasn't theatre appropriate. The play stunk and I was haunted by my decision not to let Molly take the tube of cookie dough as her tote treat. It would have been hilarious.

So I redeemed myself 2 years late by toting a tube of cookie dough. I showed her and we were both so pumped. We got in a ride called Roll-O-Plane, which is small cages that spin forward or backward as they lift in a vertical circle. First of all, we get in and the seat belt hooks as you shut the door. It was too tight and the employee was leaning into the door to get it shut. "Are we too big?" we asked with each shove cutting us in half. "Nope." they said full on heaving into the door with their shoulder and full body weight. The door clicked and we were pinned to the ride. We just chatted waiting for the ride to fill. Finally it started moving. The spin is controlled by your momentum, so we were rocking forward and back, trying to get our cage to flip, obviously limited in motion from the tourniquet seat belt. We finally got momentum and started flipping forward over and over. All the sudden all the tote contents started flying about the cage. Granola bars, salt water taffy, crackers, all in mayhem. All the sudden it was as if slow motion the tube of cookie dough open at one end worked its way to the top of the tote and slowly flew through the air. "NNNNNOOOOO!" Suddenly an angelic arm reached out and grabbed the cookie dough mid-air before the cage tumbled upside down again. Honestly, I don't know which one of us caught the prized treat, our identities often get confused when we are together, but we were laughing so hard we almost wet our pants, and the pressure on our bladders from the seat belt only contributed to the potential soilage.

Unfortunately I don't have any pictures from any of the Frightmares adventures, but I did have the Halloweenish pictures of us from carving pumpkins our freshman year...notice my tribute to Goonies with my collaborative work: "Sloth"

New Addition To Our Family

This is our new addition: HP iPAQ rx5915 Travel Companion with GPS pocket PC. Rhett budgeted in the school funding to purchase a palm pilot type thing for when he starts rotations next year, but began researching early. Some students recommended getting them early so you have time to get familiar with using a handheld computer, so that was the rationale in the early purchase. After hours of research this was Rhett's choice. It is a pocket PC with the Tom Tom navigation system he has been drooling over for over a year. The day he got this, he literally hopped out of the kitchen exclaiming: "This is the best thing I've ever bought in my life!" Rhett is usually pretty "neutral" in his emotions, it takes a lot to get him excited to where he is jumping around, unlike me, so this is a huge thing.

So to my point. Rhett's new child got us in some trouble today. Since he got it, Rhett has been testing the TomTom navigation system with the full mounting equipment in his car. Yes, that's right. The TomTom tells him how to get to school, church, Wal-mart. Obviously the limits of living in a small town and never having an errand beyond 6 miles was not

testing the new toy's abilities. Thus the trip to Nauvoo was greatly anticipated for Rhett.

He programmed the shortest route between our house and Nauvoo. It took us out on Hwy 6, a common route we take. After about 15 miles, the voice directed to "turn Right onto county hwy 12"...uhhh, this is a dirt road. "I don't know about this Rhett. We're going to be late." I cautioned doubting the PC. "Don't worry Jess. TomTom probably knows a shortcut no one else knows about. I looked at the route, in the end it will be faster." After driving for miles on dirt roads, TomTom lead us to a no through road. We were in the middle of rural Missouri trusting a robot to get somewhere we already know. I was frustrated. "Rhett, this shortest route doesn't mean it's faster. We aren't going to make it." I continued to joke about the PC and ridicule it. Rhett was patient and agreed he wouldn't take anymore dirt roads TomTom suggests. He was patient until I crossed the line (at this point we were back on paved roads on a route we have previously taken) "Rhett I don't know why we waste our time with this. Just go the way we know!" He calmly responded. "Jess your complaining and negativity is getting on my nerves and starting to annoy me...pretty bad. You've made TomTom nervous now and so now he is all confused and we're both not enjoying this ride with you." I knew he was serious about being annoyed, and kidding about flustering TomTom, and worse, he was right about my whining. After my thoughtful pause he added: "Jess, lay off TomTom....he's just a computer." That was it: "Rhett do you know 'TomTom' is just a computer?" He started laughing, enjoying the whole adventure, and I tried to conceal my chuckle at the whole mess.

We finally did make it and we weren't late, and I have to give TomTom credit for finding a short cut on the way back through Keokuk, IA. Maybe TomTom and I just started out on the wrong foot and we'll become friends after all.

Can I Keep My Mouth Shut?

Tonight it was mentioned how often the use of our pictures on the SAA website (website for the med-wives) is used to put names with faces. I said: "Well I should probably change my picture then because my mouth is wide open." Someone asked: "Is it the same on your blog?" I didn't before realize I am advertising myself with my mouth wide open everywhere I go.

But I suppose it isn't false advertising.

What is on my camera?

I was downloading the pictures from my camera and all the suden this little gem popped up. I enlarged it and busted up laughing to see Rhett's documentation of my sleeping at 1:13 pm. This wasn't a nap, I work nights and usually get to bed at 6:45 am so really, it isn't THAT late, but I laughed anyway for his little surprise waiting for me. Thanks Rhett. I'm pretty gross looking, but I'm sleeping so this picture is up for the laughs.

Maybe I'll have to repay his favor and become the photo bandit also...to be continued.

Chicago

"If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy." -Jack Handey-

During the week break before Labor Day, we went to Chicago for 2 nights & 3 days. It's about 6 hours away and we took a train. We were at the train station at 6am and realized I didn't bring her purse...whenever I'm with Rhett I never take my purse, and this time it bit me in the butt...NO PHOTO ID.

So we were standing in the middle of Quincy at 6am not knowing if they would let me on the train. Rhett was surprisingly calm and emphasized the fact I shouldn't go on trips without ID. So all our bar and club hopping plans were out, and all my halters and strapless tops were packed for nothing, but the good news is they didn't check for ID to get on the train and we made it to the Windy City.

Our reflection in the Flight of the Navigator ship in Millenium Park
Chicago scape
Deep dish pizza...one slice filled us up, but we were able to jam down more
Rhett w/ Sue, the most complete T-Rex in THE WORLD
Some highlights were Chicago Philharmonic Jazz Orchestra's free concert in Millenium Park, Wicked on Broadway, Field Museum, Art Institute, Navy Pier, and of course all the great food. We had a lot of fun One the way back, we hit some bigger anti-ID issues. Grand Central Station are a little more strict than the shack in Quincy and they were checking photo ID prior to boarding the train. It came to us and Rhet handed our two tickets with his ID, and Betty, asked for mine. I was sweating. "I don't have it with me." Betty looked me up and down. "How old are you?" "Uh..22." Betty rolls her eyes and looks at us over her glasses: "Nowadays honey, you need to have ID WHEREEVER YOU GO. I'm not supposed to let you on this train." In my head...Thanks mom, but really I can't do anything about that now. "I'm sorry, but I don't have it with me, you guys let me on to get here from Quincy without it." Betty fidgets uncomfortably. "I guess I'll let you on but you really need to keep your ID with you...you're an adult." Despite the embarrassment and later teasing, I survived and we got home as planned, and now I can turn my lack of planning into an accomplishment, making a whole trip without any ID.

For those that don't know me that well, we really had no plans to bar or club hop, and the last thing I would wear would be strapless or halter...if you see my body in person you'll understand, in fact pictures probably explain it well enough.

Halloween Is Coming!

"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. " -Jack Handey-

Creepy in Kirksville

It is 6:12 am. I am driving home from work. It is a foggy morning and no one else is on the road. I turn onto Boundary Road and see the ghostly red light through the morning haze. The creepiest house in Kirksville looms before me.

First off, this house caught my eye originally early this spring when they planted two small palm trees in their front yard. I was skeptical as to whether they would grow in the mid-west, but they have more than doubled their size this summer, so I've been impressed by that. But the last couple of weeks each morning the red porch light has added to my curiosity.

Maybe the red bulb was their only backup? Maybe they are setting the holiday mood early (which I can appreciate) and creating this "Mele Kalikimaka" motif for Christmas with the palms and everything, or...the shocking possibility popped in my head....maybe this "red light" is sending a totally different message altogether. In Kirksville?....uh....maybe....how.....no way.

You decide.

Sorry the picture is crappy, didn't bring the tri-pod on this adventure.

Rhett

Is it poor blog etiquette to post a tag chain entry when you weren't specifically tagged? If so, I apologize to Ashley and the shocked blog community....but I am posting anyway.

1. Who is your man? Rhett, actually not named after Gone With the Wind's Rhett Butler
2. How long have you been together? 3 years
3. How long dated?3 months till we were engaged. We were in love before we ever went on a date--the friendship barrier was hard to cross
4. How old is your man? 26
5. Who eats more? probably about the same...he definitely drinks more with meals
7. Who is taller? me...big obstacle for going beyond the friendship boundary. I couldn't imagine him digging as my dad put it, a "giant" but we were smitten with each other and it was actually very insignificant to both of us in the end, so we hung out as friends for months choking down butterflies instead of thinking the other person may not care about height differences.
8. Who sings better? Rhett
9. Who is smarter? I would say Rhett and he would say me...maybe we're even between certain subjects or his saying I am smarter proves his higher intelligence i.e. happy wife is a happy life
10. Who's temper is worse? mine absolutely. I can be quite wretched. Rhett has taught me a lot about self control. We've never had a fight, just disagreements with my heat being uprooted by his calm logic. I had developed such a talent for arguing as a teenager...now it is not used as much and my acid tongue is slowly losing potency (for which I'm grateful)
11. Who does the laundry? both, Rhett did the majority of the laundry when we were both in school. The only mishap was he put my wool peacoat in the drier, but I luckily caught it before it was turned on...so no shrinking, just mis-shapen from washing it.
12.Who takes out the garbage? Rhett
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Rhett I always sleep closest to the bathroom
14. Who pays the bills? Rhett
15. Who is better with the computer? Rhett
16. Who mows the lawn? me, see previous post "Our Lawn Mullet", unless Rhett is out of school
17. Who cooks dinner? me, but Rhett makes quite a few meals for himself the nights I work
18. Who drives when you are together? Rhett...I loathe driving
19. Who pays when you go out? Rhett, I lose recipts
20. Who is most stubborn? me usually, but it depends on the issue
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Rhett, I'm working on it
22. Whose parents do you see the most? about equal now
23. Who kissed who first? he kissed me and I botched it...not too surprising I'll never live that story down
24. Who asked who out? he pulled the date loop hole and asked me to go to a movie "with a group of friends" that turned out to be his best friend & his wife...our first handhold occurred that night and the romance pent up for months was confessed 25. Who proposed? Rhett
26. Who is more sensitive? depends on what you measure. I bawl at anything, but he definitely has more sympathy
27. Who has more friends? we both have few but very close friends
28. Who has more siblings? Rhett by 1
29. Who wears the pants in the family? We each have a leg in

Sofa Talk Blunder

The other night we ate dinner with friends. Our routine after any social gathering is the "drive home review" which consists of an evaluation of the things I shouldn't have said, and any potential offending I did. These sessions are usually constructive criticism and are initiated by my paranoia of getting out of control blabbing quite often and having Rhett to objectively point out things I can "improve" on. After 3 years of marriage these "what is socially acceptable" sessions are still necessary, but getting more brief.
This particular session evolved around my telling the same story too often. The "sweatshirt" story occurred last January and apparently it was so mortifying to me, I've shared it too much.

Rhett: "Maybe you could move on from that sweatshirt story. I've heard it a lot."

Jess: [flabbergasted] "Really? I tell that story a lot?"

Rhett: "All the time. I cringe when anyone mentions Sofa Talk because I know we can't move on until we hear the sweatshirt story."

The realization: I must be telling this story way too much if Rhett knows what Sofa Talk is, let a lone gags on it because he knows I feel I have to clear my name by telling the story over and over.

So here's the story one last time and then I shall never repeat it again. First of all, Sofa Talk is a club in SAA (med wife club) and it has different themes each month and is usually basically chat or games. The one and only time I went to Sofa Talk is my "sweatshirt story."

Natalie told me I should go with her to Sofa Talk. The theme was "bring something that represents something we wouldn't know about you." I thought about it and decided to wear a hooded sweatshirt from high school as an attempt to be funny.
We arrived and once the sharing began, I quickly realized my idea wasn't going to mesh with everyone else's, but what can you do. I was about half way down the line, and there were mainly crafty creations: wedding albums, scrapbooking projects, occasional videos. Natalie did bust out her knee surgery scars, so I thought my contribution wouldn't be the only one that didn't come leather bound and beautiful. I had kept my coat on to conceal my item. So as it got to my turn, I was nervous to realize the majority of the people didn't know me and I had something really stupid I wasn't at all proud of, but I thought I'd make the best of it and ham it up.

I began unzipping, explaining I brought something I made. "You made that coat?" "No I didn't, but..." with a little strip tease motion, off came the coat and there I was in a gray hooded sweatshirt. I proceeded to explain in high school I was kind of a nerd and started a chemistry club and made these sweatshirts, the best aspect being the VARSITY on the sleeve for those in A.P. Chemistry.
Natalie bust up laughing but no one else joined in. All the girls were interested and very nice, probably thinking--this girl has such a sad life. They politely asked questions, but none of them what I expected: "Did you major in Chemistry?" "Is it your favorite subject?" I was in a panic. No one knows I am kidding. Rather than shut up and let the next person share their wedding album, I kept elaborating on the chemistry club, the fact I like science, but not necessarily chemistry, the reason I made the Chemistry Club was the teacher was cool. My verbal diarrhea continued and I finally had to stop and move it on to the next person.
I was mortified. No one knew I was joking and now I'm known as the chick in love with chemistry and that is the best thing in my life people may not already know about. Great. I asked Natalie if she thought from everyone's reactions if they knew I was kidding, neither of us were sure. We asked a friend, Ashley, and she totally knew it was a joke...which made me feel better until recently.
A couple weeks ago, I had some friends over and a few were there that awful night. I guess Sofa Talk came up and I felt compelled to retell the story and it came out that they thought I was dead serious and proud of my chemistry accomplishments. AHHH! "Until this moment I thought you were completely serious." We busted up laughing, but since then I guess I feel self conscious for all those who also thought I was serious and the pure lameness I must be known for.

Well all around it is pretty funny and there is a lot of lameness to me, so this experience was not at all surprising. But now I can move on let my Sofa Talk blunder rest once and for all as I accept the fact my dorky past should not be shared and I should read before I go to events to know what they advertise to bring.

Monkey-Butt

Check out this great product Molly found....

the anti-monkey butt