I'm sure everyone already knows I'm a dork/ nerd/ lame-o. So I've decided to start a running thread of things to further illustrate that reality...stay tuned. This story isn't so great, but I think the photos are worth a gander. Lurp.
As a little bun-head ballerina, growing up, you have dream roles. I'd say most little girls dream of first being Clara in the Nutcracker, then as you get older, the Sugarplum Fairy.
Clara was out early on because I was way too tall and a lurp. Don't get me wrong, I would have LOVED flying off the stage at BYU on that wooden snowflake, but I knew it would never happen. For some reason, I never wanted to be Sugarplum...maybe because she's BORING. As a kid, and even as an older dancer, who obviously appreciates ballet, sugarplum and her cavalier get so boring. The dancers are obviously the best ones around, but it drags on. Maybe different choreography breaks up all their variations better, but the company I danced with put them all in at the end, and it gets old. Plus the Sugarplum just looks pretty and dances around, zero character. My dream roles from The Nutcracker were always Snow Queen or Arabian. These had a little more edge to me, and the audience seemed to enjoy to watch them the whole time. I never danced any of these roles, so I guess I wasn't that great in the end, but this is about dream roles, not performed.
So as I stood there guarding the candy cottage scenery, I would watch the act enfold in front of me. I LOVED the witch. She was so amazing to me. Giuliana Bule. She had long hair to her waist they'd puff really big. I have this memory standing against a wall back stage watching them put her scary witch make-up on, just in awe of how great it was. She was so great as the witch. My favorite dancer in the whole ballet. I loved the part she'd check Hansel & Gretel's fingers to see if they'd fattened up. She seemed so evil. But in the end she died by being shoved into the oven. I was the peppermint guard right by the oven, and when she'd fall through, they'd blast out the fog machine, and I loved the smell, and felt really important, you know, being part of the scenery where the whole audience was watching. Although, at that point, I guess I failed to prevent the death of my evil master when I was standing right there, but just stared ahead as she fell to her death.
As a little bun-head ballerina, growing up, you have dream roles. I'd say most little girls dream of first being Clara in the Nutcracker, then as you get older, the Sugarplum Fairy. Not me.
Clara was out early on because I was way too tall and a lurp. Don't get me wrong, I would have LOVED flying off the stage at BYU on that wooden snowflake, but I knew it would never happen. For some reason, I never wanted to be Sugarplum...maybe because she's BORING. As a kid, and even as an older dancer, who obviously appreciates ballet, sugarplum and her cavalier get so boring. The dancers are obviously the best ones around, but it drags on. Maybe different choreography breaks up all their variations better, but the company I danced with put them all in at the end, and it gets old. Plus the Sugarplum just looks pretty and dances around, zero character. My dream roles from The Nutcracker were always Snow Queen or Arabian. These had a little more edge to me, and the audience seemed to enjoy to watch them the whole time. I never danced any of these roles, so I guess I wasn't that great in the end, but this is about dream roles, not performed.
But before Nutcracker, my running dream role was from the little ballet, Hansel & Gretel. This was the first full production ballet I ever performed in. I was 10 years old and cast as a "peppermint guard". Basically, I stood as still as I could in front of the candy cottage for a long time. At one point, we came out in a line, jumped a little, and ran back to stare into the audience from the candy cottage. Our spots in the limelight were less than 20 seconds. But I LOVED it and was so proud to be in the ballet. As I found these photos, I had written on the page: "I was so glad to be a soldier because I didn't have to smile...I had crooked, yellow teeth." That I did. Here are the teeth I was grateful to conceal behind gianormous grease-paint lips: 
MY WORST SCHOOL PHOTO. 4TH GRADE.
The nasty, ratty perm, bumpy gel crusted slicked half ponytail, huge bow, buttoned shirt to my chin...and THOSE TEETH I loathed. I was so excited for braces.
So as I stood there guarding the candy cottage scenery, I would watch the act enfold in front of me. I LOVED the witch. She was so amazing to me. Giuliana Bule. She had long hair to her waist they'd puff really big. I have this memory standing against a wall back stage watching them put her scary witch make-up on, just in awe of how great it was. She was so great as the witch. My favorite dancer in the whole ballet. I loved the part she'd check Hansel & Gretel's fingers to see if they'd fattened up. She seemed so evil. But in the end she died by being shoved into the oven. I was the peppermint guard right by the oven, and when she'd fall through, they'd blast out the fog machine, and I loved the smell, and felt really important, you know, being part of the scenery where the whole audience was watching. Although, at that point, I guess I failed to prevent the death of my evil master when I was standing right there, but just stared ahead as she fell to her death. For years I hoped they'd perform Hansel and Gretel when I was older, in the hopes I could also wear black point shoes and pretend to cannibalize small children on stage, and the best of all...dance really creepy and mean with my hair down.
4 comments:
Even in movies, the bad guys have all the fun. I totally love the Arabian dance.
When we did The Wizard of Oz, I didn't want to be Dorothy or the good witch. I wanted to be the Scarecrow. I got the part--the only one where you didn't have to be graceful :)
You are so funny, Jess. And you have such a good memory! I love that you are recording all these great stories.
every roll is important event he small ones. You were so cute you stop saying how akward and ugly you were b/c you were so cute w/ those long pretty legs and big eyes.
Oh my gosh that is hilarious!!! I was laughing soooo hard! I remember Hansel and Gretel but my memory is not as great as yours. I know I wasn't a candy cane solider but I can't remember what I was. I do remember the witch. I always wanted to be snow queen too, sadly both our dreams will never make it!
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