Grandma Bean's Apple Slices

Molly and I were assigned to the same dorm in college and became instant friends. A couple weeks into our first semester, she noticed I liked to eat and told me about this recipe of her Grandma's. She explained how delicious these elusive "apple slices" were, and after we wiped up our drool she decided to call Grandma Bean in Indiana to get the recipe.

Upon receiving Molly's recipe request Gma B. told her "ummm...that's a really hard recipe Molly."

Molly explained she thought she could handle it, and there were other people who cooked around if she needed help. "Well.... I'll send you some other good recipes that are easier instead." So Gma refused to give up the recipe. A couple days later Molly received her care package and in it were the promised good, but easier recipes.

Grandma Bean had got out her typewriter and the following recipe was typed neatly on an index card:

Cherry Pie
1 pie crust
1 can cherry pie filling

Buy a pie crust. Open the can and pour the cherries into the crust. Bake according to the can's instructions.

We were laughing and it was obvious if this was an easy recipe than these apple slices probably were really hard in comparison. Luckily Molly's mom had the apple slices recipe, and every time I make these I think of Gma Bean and laugh. Especially since this is the photo that sticks in my mind.

So here it is for you, the secret recipe you have to earn, shared with Molly's permission:

GRANDMA BEAN'S APPLE SLICES

CRUST:
4 c. flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 c. shortening
2 tsp lemon juice
1 c. cold water
4 egg yolks, beaten

In food processor, combine dry ingredients. Add shortening and pulse until small pea size. Add water, lemon juice and yolks and mix until dough forms. Divide in half. Press first half in greased jelly roll/ cookie sheet.

**If you don't have a food processor, cut in shortening with pastry cutter or two knives instead

***This pastry dough more moist than regular pie crust. Gourmet bakers would probably chill the shortening before and chill the dough 15 minutes before pressing in pan, but I'm sloppy and don't do either.

FILLING:
5 c. tart apples, peeled, diced (I'd guess about 4-6 average sized apples)

2 c. sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 c. flour
Stir to cover apples and spread on bottom crust. Roll out second half of dough between two sheets of wax paper. You can pick it up and make sure it will fit your pan, so roll it to the size you need. When ready to put the top crust on, take the top sheet of wax paper off. So you will have your perfect crust rolled out on a sheet of wax paper. Carefully position the crust on top of the apples. Then you just peel off the wax paper backing and you have a perfect crust on top. Go around the edges and press the top crust down over the apples and try to make a seal with the bottom crust. Cut some slits in the top to let steam escape.
Bake at 400 for 40-45 minutes, or until crust is golden brown.

GLAZE:
2 c. powdered sugar
1/4 c. butter, room temperature
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 c. milk
Beat until smooth. Pour over apple slices while slightly warm.

I usually make a half batch in a glass 9x13. These are great for Thanksgiving because you have a full cookie sheet of apple pie-ish dessert, but I like these better than traditional apple pie.

I lost my wedding ring

My palm shows how I need to LOTION!


Last weekend we went to visit family in Delta. Rhett was between rotations and didn't feel obligated to study or anything so we had a full Saturday with a 70 degree forecast. Rhett's Dad owns a trilobite quarry in the west desert of Utah, and Rhett's brother Shayne operates a business on the quarry so visitors can come and dig all day and take home their fossils. It is called U-Dig Fossils (if you have time & interest to check out the website you'll find a gem photo of Rhett at age 10 cracking some shale and sporting the ever popular 90's bowl-cut hair style).



Anyway, having been in the fam over 5 years, it was shocking I'd never dug my own trilobite. So we thought Saturday we'd take the kid and drive to the quarry to crack some rocks all day.


I actually enjoyed cracking up rocks. They are shale and really soft and crumble in your hands some of the time. It was quite relaxing to hammer rocks and bust them up, occasionally finding fossils to give to the father in law too. RJ got to help drive the backhoe.



We were moving all our stuff when I ruined my day and everyone else in the family when I looked down and noticed my hand missing the only piece of jewelry I ever wear. My wedding ring!! Rhett was holding RJ and I squatted in shock with my left hand out, fingers spread whispering: "Oh no!" "Oh NO!!!" After rising from my panic squat I frantically stumbled down the hills like a rat with rabies searching areas I'd previously been digging. I was in a big pit and looked around and realized--my wedding ring is gone! It was more impossible than finding a needle in a haystack. I stood there staring at the ground and almost started to cry, but sense kicked in and I realized crying won't do any good so I continued running all around the quarry instead.



I finally gave up my 3 minute search and told Rhett that we could get a sterling silver little band when we get back. Rhett coolly said: "Well Jess, at least you can comfort yourself with the fact your ring is among the trilobites." I did laugh--better than crying I guess. "I only lasted 5 years before I lost my ring," I lamented as I grabbed our stuff and Rhett went to look around, basically walking around calmly through my tracks. I told Rhett's brother Shayne about how stupid I was and reacting like an adult, Shayne told us to go back to Delta and get his metal detector.



So Rhett dropped us off and drove the hour back to the quarry to comb the desert for my ring. He was gone all day and called at 8 pm. All my nieces kept telling me to pray that they find my ring and that's all it would take but I told them it was already gone in my head. Rhett drove up and I ran out and he got down on one knee and gave me my ring and asked me to be more careful with it in the future. I was relieved and grateful for prayers and metal detectors.

And to reward you for reading this far into our pretty uneventful lives, below I have sacrificed my dignity by sharing a REALLY close photo of my nasty face so you can enjoy my baby's sad eye being pulled off his face by my cheek. Poor bubba. ( the reward is supposed to be a laugh...or maybe just a chuckle...ok a smile...or a complete waste of reading the whole thing and an ending that's even worse)

Lame Update

We are back home, we were only in Delta for the month of January.

Rhett is currently finishing his Radiology rotation and has liked it a lot. He is trying to narrow down what to specialize in and it is stressing him out to make a final decision on the career for the rest of his life. If you'd like to help you can vote on the poll on our sidebar. Not all of these are serious considerations at this point, he has narrowed it down to 2 1/2 options.

Jess is the same. She needs a hair cut. Calling in Beehives. Girls camp is 5 days this June...I think the longest I remember as a youth was 3 nights and even then half of my group was gone the first night due to home sickness. So this will be interesting and I'm looking forward to it actually.

RJ is almost starting to take some unassisted steps. Last night he took two steps before sitting down terrified. He is afraid. I try to work with him balancing but the minute he becomes aware I'm not holding on to him he plops down. So it will probably be a while before he walks, and it probably won't make too much of a difference as far as his path of destruction is concerned. He is learning a few words. Only two he uses consistently in the correct context. "Papa" for his dad and "bye.bye." waving goodbye. We've been working on mama. He hates cow's milk and will be shortly forced off the nursing wagon to his mother's delight. His two front teeth are cutting through.

Everybody Loves Raymond

I think I've been rooting for Anoop from the beginning for the sole reason he is a nerd. I would like to see a nerd win a popularity contest...and he can sing pretty well too.

Tween

My dad cleaned out his closet and found this gem. Rhett and I have been laughing at it for a couple days. I'm pretty sure it was taken in Missouri for a family reunion. I think in 1994 when I was 10 years old.

Rhett's favorite part are my ape arms: "They look like they're the same length as mine but on a little girl body. " Laugh it up chuckles.

I can't believe how out of proportion I am. I was teased as a kid with the nick name "Daddy Long Legs" and now I get it. It looks like toothpick extremities poked in a mini marshmallow torso. Also, at this stage I really loved the "feather bangs" that were so great. Piled high and hair sprayed stiff. Unfortunately for me, they were cut feathered but spent months matted to my forehead as shown here. I'd like to think I combed them, but I can't be sure. As you can see a belt was an absolute necessity to keep these shorts on my bum. I guess the idea was bigger sizes would have longer inseams, but I don't think that really ever worked...it looks like I was trying to create the "hoop skirt shorts" ballooning out, only making contact with my body at the belt. And yes, my pants are on my real waist. But on me it looks like they are in my armpits. I think my expression just sums up the whole ensemble.

I am the female, white version of Steve Urkel...glasses came later. I opted for a belt over suspenders.

Recipe

Banana Cream Pie in a Coconut Crust

My mom's birthday is on leap year, so there is no Feb. 29th this year, so we celebrated it yesterday. She wanted pie instead of cake, so this I made upon her request and it was good. Don't judge the recipe by the photo.

Coconut Crust
4 T butter
1 1/2 c. sweetened coconut
1 T flour
1 T sugar

Melt butter in skillet over med-low heat. Add coconut, flour and sugar. Mix it around over medium heat until combined thoroughly. Press into pie pan to form the crust (back of spoon works well). Bake at 375 for 10 minutes or until bottom just begins to brown as coconut toasts. Let cool.

*You could also use regular pie crust, obviously

Banana Cream Pie Filling

2 1/2 c. milk
1/3 c. cornstarch
3 egg yolks
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 c. sugar
1 T milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 T butter
2-3 ripe bananas, sliced

Cream Pie Variations:
Coconut-Banana Cream Pie:
add 1/4 c. coconut at the end right before refrigeration
Coconut Cream Pie:
add 3/4 c. coconut at the end right before refrigeration, leave out bananas
Chocolate Cream Pie:
add 2 T cocoa with sugar, and eggs. Leave out bananas.

Heat milk in microwave 4 minutes. In small bowl combine cornstarch, yolks, salt, sugar and 1 T milk. Add to warm milk and whisk until smooth.
Microwave for 30 sec intervals until thickened. Add vanilla, butter, and coconut at this point if you like it.
Cover with plastic wrap (to avoid pudding skin) and let cool in refrigerator.
When ready to serve, slice bananas into pudding, pour in pie shell and top with whipped cream. Due to the temporary nature of ripe bananas, this pie does not store well and should be assembled within 2 hours of serving.

I am a sloppy cook and not too particular, so using the microwave is fast and works for me. You could bring the custard to boil in a saucepan too, probably the more appropriate chef method. As far as making sure how thick the custard needs to be to determine when you stop cooking it: I stop when it is thick enough it globs in a whisk and will still pour through slowly. If you grab a glob with a whisk and it falls right through, keep cooking. If you grab a glob with the whisk and you have to shake the whisk for the custard to fall through, you've cooked too much.

In my experience, you can cook it a little too much: when it is cooled it will be a little firm, closer to jello but you can stir it a bunch before you add the bananas and it works. But if you don't cook it enough, you have liquid pie--gross. My friend Danielle L. can testify to that from the occasion we invited them over for dinner and all I had to offer was banana cream soup in a pie shell.

Hope you like it. My mom got this recipe from a Mrs. Holmstead who was her youth church leader in the 70s and we like this pie.

Oh, I hate coconut cream pie. I hate the grainy texture the coconut has, kind of like floaties in my pie. But the coconut crust was awesome. Crunchy and sweet and gave the good coconut flavor without the nasty texture. Also, I used grated coconut which is really fine, almost like coconut crumbs, but my mom's used flaked with the same results, so doesn't really matter. I wouldn't use shaved coconut because those are huge flakes and would be hard to press down smoothly.
You can also just leave out the measly 1 T flour and have a gluten free dessert, doesn't make a difference really. Oh, and if you're eating pie--you are having dessert so don't ruin it by topping with "whipped topping". Use the real stuff--cream you whip with sugar, and yes it may stick to your thighs but it will sure taste good going down. It's all about portion control...or so I hear because I ate 1/4 the pie last night and feel hypocritical telling you it's about portion control. I guess for me last night it should have been about portion control. But hey-it was a birthday.